The Ever Notorious Tigger Tank

Often, people are interested in various cultures for what they represent. For instance, what comes instantly to mind when one says - Latino: tacos, sombreros, and of course Zoro.

How about French? Mustachioed, beanie wearing men who have a tendency towards their feminine side, nude statues, and that tall pointy tower that looks slightly drafty.

You may be surprised, but I am drawn towards the cultural history of the Germanic peoples. Why is this? They can't cook, they can't draw, and singing isn't quite their thing. It would seem that all they excel in is producing high grade cars, cranes, and cuckoo-clocks. That, and of course, waging wars... and there is your answer.

The Germans are, (I should say were) as we know, a warring people who seem to fight incessantly. Before the capitulation of Germany in 1945, it could almost be certain that whenever the Western World saw a conflict, the Germans would show up, upsetting their opposition with less than politically correct behavior - and awesome innovative equipment. Since ancient times, they were known for devising nasty looking contraptions solely for the purpose of disemboweling something or another, and this tradition they carried with them throughout the history of Europe. By the time WWII rolled around the Germans had quite a handful of military engineers at their disposal who got right down to the business of devising clever apparatuses with which to, of course, disembowel people in some way or another. Here's what I mean - take any WWII action movie or video game, and it will be hard to find one in which there is not at least one scene or level where someone goes - "...(gasp!).. TIGER TANK !", and then the whole world goes crazy, and it's up to good ol' Tom Hanks to save the day. Now, here's my point: do you suppose the French could devise a weapon worthy of a name such as Tiger Tank? I dare say not. Perhaps a TIGGER, or a TEDDY Tank, but who would that scare? More Frenchies I suppose. How about the English?- "Everybody run, it's a TEA Tank" right? (Of course it would seem that the French and English were equally incapable of committing Genocide and other heinous acts, but thats a different story.) Genocide aside, everyone likes a fighter, the way we marvel at a cobra, stalking less capable prey, but in the same fashion, and more so, we admire the mongoose- likewise a fighter; defeater of the mighty cobra, in the name of good. Mongoose = U.S.A. Cobra = Militarist Dictatorships bent on world domination. We marvel at both, support only one. Many would suggest we pull the teeth from the Mongoose in the name of peace, but no matter how nice you make a mongoose, there will always be cobras, and a good cobras first target would be a mongoose without teeth.

The NEW and IMPROVED Dysfunctional School

I attend a certain private school whose name I will not mention out of respect for which, and my heinee. My schoolmates, with few exceptions, are hopelessly dysfunctional. I will give an example: as a generally accepted rule, all flirting must be mindless, and hushed tones are completely out of the question as, we all know, screaming and jumping about is the best way into the heart of a woman. Debates of any kind are to be dealt with in the same manner, no logic or pragmatism may be applied, just screaming. That'll settle any argument. It's crazy really.

In times past, all classes were traditional, with teachers and what not. Later when personal schedules and cost of tuition became an issue, we averted to the curriculum "School of Tomorrow", more commonly known as "PACE", a system in which one is self taught, no teachers, just books. This, however, despite its many advantages, proved to possess various shortcomings. But this is the year '09! New ideas have been considered, and one, proved...err...good.(?) We are learning via a new concept from Pensacola Christian Academy in Florida. And So, School is great this year as we have adapted a new curriculum- A Beka- or whatever. All the classes are on DVD and can be fast-forwarded. Positive mark. The geniuses at Pensacola have deemed it necessary to provide me with a set of seventy-eight books of ginormous proportions for each of my thirty-something classes, forcing me to carry three Amazon rain forests worth of paper home in my backpack every night. Negative marks there. Students are suffering from with-drawl symptoms due to the sudden lack sufficient Gym-classes-we're down to three a week instead of nine. They're shorter too, a miniscule half hour as opposed to the previously accepted two hrs/class. Positive mark for me. It seems a new concept: this silly studying behavior as opposed to colliding with one another 24/7 but we'll get the hang of it.
Oh yeah, several old Macintosh computers were donated to our school.
Yes, the immensely interesting albeit noisy speech functions included. Coincidentally, Brother Gavin, our principal, has been experiencing a heightened rate of hair loss... Positive Mark.

Diary of Disconcertion

Let me begin this, my very first post, by giving you, (certainly an unfortunate soul to have stumbled upon a manifestation of the cooky confines of my less than normal thought process), a brief summary of what exactly my blog will concern, and what has brought me to bother with such.

Firstly, let me explain the less than politically correct title, and in doing so, the theme of my blog. It is a perfect representation of the content that this page will be composed of, in that it is completely random. I have no one topic of which I wish to write. Included will be current events, world wide, or in my life, (not that I have one, heck, I'm writing a BLOG for Bonds sake!) political, spiritual, it doesn't matter, and my personal philosophy on such. You will encounter innumerable spelling and grammatticall errors, for which I am sorry but I cannot, of course, be held responsible for my own mistakes and will gladly blame the first to volunteer.

Now to explain my purpose in writing this blog. I am not in any way athletic, nor am I skilled in the numbers. Can't draw - can't sing to any considerable degree - poetry is a hassle, and anything mechanical is Icelandic to me. The only activity which requires any considerable amount of voluntary effort to accomplish that I enjoy participating in is creative writing. A friend of mine, seeing this, informed me of the whole "Blog" thing, and recommended it. So here I am. I am not, as you should have perceived by this time, a very serious person, and suffer from an unshakable habit of using heavy elements of satire, sarcasm, and randomosity which, unless I am mistaken, isn't even a word, but let's continue. In my postings, I hope to entertain you. This is my only goal. I think. Please enjoy.